BEFORE WE GET STARTED…
October is the one month of the year when a four dollar vegetable (fruit?) counts as a whole date, and we are not going to waste it. Tell us your favorite Halloween themed activity and we might feature it next week :)
Don’t forget to reply with your favorite date idea this week.
THREE DATES, THIRTEEN DOLLARS TOTAL
Strike a Gourd
Bowling · about $8
Buy two carving pumpkins, line up ten empty 2-litre bottles (or whatever you have, I’ve done this with trash cans) at the end of a driveway or down the hill at Rock Canyon park. Walmart has “Fresh Carving Pumpkin, Each” at $3.97, so the entire date costs under nine dollars, and the pins can be just be whatever have.
This is a call, not a text, because its gotta be pretty funny to be asked to go bowling with a pumpkin.
Call them and say: “I bought two pumpkins and I’m bowling with them Friday. Are you in?”
Most first conversations die because both people are asking questions they already know the answer to (or have asked so many times its simply boring). Try this one instead. It gives her permission to brag about something small, which almost nobody gets asked to do, and you will learn more in that answer than in twenty minutes of majors and hometowns.
What’s the most boring thing about you?
Say the Thing You Noticed
Labeling · Chris Voss
“It seems like you’re really into this.”
Chris Voss was the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, and the move he leans on hardest is the least dramatic one in the book: say out loud what you think the other person is feeling.
He calls it labeling, and it is always the same shape, “it seems like…” or “it sounds like…”, then the thing you noticed. The point is not to be right, because being wrong works just as well: she corrects you, and now you are actually talking.
Use it on the Strike a Gourd card above. When she goes quiet looking at the pins, “it seems like you’ve done this before” might start a conversation before “sooo how’s school” has been. Then stop talking and let her answer.
Guest Star in our Next Edition
Send us a selfie and you could be a person in next week’s date pictures. We drop you right into the scene using AI, so you and a friend can go looking for yourselves in the photos.
Somebody Else’s Doorstep
Service · under $5
Cut a stack of paper hearts, write one true thing on each one about somebody who could use hearing it, drive over after dark and tape them all over their door. A pack of construction paper and a roll of painter’s tape runs under five dollars.
Text them and say: “This is kind of random, but we’ve had institute together all semester. I’m taping paper hearts on a friend’s door at nine, meeting at the Creamery first. Want to come?”
Marsh Madness
Birding · free
There is a wooden wildlife viewing tower at the Provo River Delta, out where the river meets Utah Lake, and almost nobody knows about it. It is free, it is open, and the Skipper Bay trail runs out to it off Boat Harbor Drive. The water is full of things to look at: the Division of Wildlife Resources stocked over 4,000 rainbow and tiger trout and 150 walleye in there this year, and BYU students have been counting the birds since 2017, with waterbirds and shorebirds climbing every year since the river was rerouted in 2023.
Go to Skipper Bay, not the old channel. Utah County closed the Old Provo Channel trail until 31 October to repave it and started laying asphalt the week of the 19th, so the channel side is a construction zone right now. Get there an hour before sunset, because the tower faces west over the lake and that is the whole reason to climb it.
When you see them in person, say: “I’m driving out to the lake Saturday to climb a bird tower, which sounds fake but isn’t. You around Saturday?”
Featured Single: Get Your Own Card
We’ll feature you as a single in an upcoming issue, using your photo and a few lines about you, so other readers can reach out and ask you out, all for $5. Think a one-person profile card that goes to the whole list instead of doom scrolling on Mutual.
How it works:
(1) Venmo $5 to me, @hamiltonpr,
(2) reply to this email with a photo, your first name, age, year and major, what you are looking for, and how you want people to reach you.
Advertise With Us
Want to put your business in front of hundreds of students in Utah Valley who are looking for somewhere to go or something to do? Reply to this email and let’s talk.
UPCOMING DATE OPPORTUNITIES
BONUS EVENTS
Hosting something in Utah Valley?
Saturday, Oct 17: BYU football vs Notre Dame
LaVell Edwards Stadium · 5:30 PM on ABC · ticketed · Notre Dame in Provo, the biggest thing on the home schedule
Call them and say: “Notre Dame is in Provo Saturday. I’m watching it somewhere with a TV. Want to join?”
Friday, Oct 23: Utah Valley Symphony, Portraits of America
The Noorda at UVU, Orem · 7:30 PM · $10 to $20 a ticket · Copland’s Lincoln Portrait narrated by UVU’s president, plus Gershwin
Text them and say: “There’s a symphony thing at the Noorda Friday and the cheap seats are ten bucks. I’m going. Come with me?”
Saturday, Oct 24: UVU volleyball vs Sacramento State
Lockhart Arena, Orem · 1:00 PM · ticketed, and free for UVU students with their ID
When you see them in person, say: “UVU’s got a home volleyball game Saturday at one. I’m going. Meet me there?”
Just reply to this email!
From the Editor
Thanks for making it to the bottom.
Three dates, thirteen dollars, and the most expensive thing in the whole issue is a pumpkin you are going to destroy on purpose. Go ask somebody.
Until next time,
— Two Tacos & a Hike