Does building LEGOs really count as a date?

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Don’t forget to reply with your favorite date idea this week.

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Building · $10-15

Pick up a small LEGO Creator 3-in-1 set (the little ones run about $10 to $15 at Walmart). Basically, you get to make three different LEGO designs. It takes an hour or two at a kitchen table, and afterwards she keeps the set. If you end up with a flower set, then she can even bring home flowers (smooth).

Having a named plan does her a favor: she answers one question, if she wants to build LEGOs with you, not the thirty that happen when you just ask if she wants to hang out some time. Vague invitations definitely feel low-pressure to send but can be the opposite to receive.

When you see them in person, say: “Kind of random, but I want to take you on an actual date. Thursday after class, we’re building LEGOs. Are you down?”

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We’ll feature you or YOUR FRIEND as a single in an upcoming issue, using a photo of them and a few lines about them, so other readers can reach out and ask THEM OUT, all for $5. Think a one-person profile card that goes to the whole list instead of doom scrolling on Mutual.

How it works:

(1) Venmo $5 to me, @hamiltonpr,

(2) reply to this email with a photo, THEIR first name, age, year and major, what they are looking for, and how you want people to reach them.

GET THEM FEATURED →

The BYU Daily Universe reports that 20 to 25 percent of BYU’s student body is married, against a national average of roughly 7 percent. That number is why a first date here can feel like a job interview for an entire life. It isn’t one, and the fastest way to prove that to both of you is to pick a plan that could not possibly be mistaken for one. Some Assembly Required is the card for this: let the plan set the stakes, and the stakes stay small.

READ THE ARTICLE HERE →

A lot of you are asking out people you met at church, but I know quite a few people who are worried that a ward is too small a place to risk a no, since you’d be sitting three rows away from her every Sunday until April. We don’t think that’s a real reason not to ask, but we also don’t live in your ward. Is the ward genuinely off limits, or is that just the fear talking?

Driving · Free

Hobble Creek Canyon starts just east of Springville, about twenty minutes south of Provo, and it’s pretty and quiet. The road follows the creek up past Jolley’s Ranch if you want to stop and walk, and it only costs the price of gas to drive. Sunset lands around 8:20 in mid-August, so leave by seven and bring some good food.

A car is the one date where you’re both facing the same direction. Nobody has to hold eye contact for an hour (or wonder where to look), and the canyon does the work if the conversation dips.

Here’s the part some guys get wrong on a canyon date: you don’t have to default to picking her up. Offer to meet at the mouth of the canyon and let her bring her own car if she wants to. When you’re on a date where barely know someone, having your own keys means choosing to stay instead of waiting to be driven home; it makes the whole thing feel safer. Say it out loud when you’re making the plan, and let her pick.

Call them and say: “Hey, it’s [name] from the ward. Bit out of nowhere, but I was wanting to ask you on a date; I’m driving up Hobble Creek for sunset Saturday. Wanna come?”

SEE THE DRIVE HERE →

In You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy borrows a distinction from sociologist Charles Derber that I think is super useful. Basically, every reply you give is either a support response, which encourages the other person to keep going, or a shift response, which turns the attention back toward you. She mentions her dog; you say “oh, I had a dog growing up.” That’s a shift, and it isn’t rude, it’s just the conversation quietly becoming about you. Sunset Up Hobble Creek Canyon gives you an hour in a car with nothing to do but talk, so try this: for the whole drive up, make every single reply a question about the thing she just said. If you’re lucky, she might just be the one asking you on a second date.

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Reading · Free

Pioneer Book at 450 W Center Street is Utah County’s largest used and rare bookshop, on that block since 1980. Go to the children’s section, pick a picture book each, and read them out loud to each other. Sitting there is free, and if you want to keep what you read, used copies run three to seven dollars.

Reading out loud hands you a script, so neither of you has to invent a conversation. A picture book is also short enough to stay funny and interesting. What’s crazy is I’ve had multiple people tell me this is a date that they have really enjoyed; it seems so simple but its actually a total hit.

Send this one as a text, and not just because texting is easier on your nerves. Sometimes it’s easier on hers. Sending a text gives her time to genuinely decide what she wants to do. In person is braver for you and harder for her: there is a lot of culture about having to call a girl to ask her on a date, but if that’s what keeping you from asking her, then why not just text? If she says no then really nothing changes from before you texted.

Text them and say: “Hey, random idea, but I wanted to ask you on a date to read picture books at Pioneer Book Friday. Want to come?”

SEE THE SHOP HERE →

Want to put YOUR BUSINESS in front of hundreds of students in Utah Valley who are looking for somewhere to go or something to do? Reply to this email and let’s talk.

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Until next time,