Before we get started…
Fall classes start in just a few weeks, which means most people aren’t too busy, but the final stretch of summer is almost gone. Stick around to the end, because there is a seven-word question further down that works better than anything clever you were planning to say.
Don’t forget to reply with your favorite date idea this week.
THREE DATES, TWO WAYS TO ASK
Get a Grip
Climbing · Free
Rock Canyon is ten minutes from campus, and it is meant for climbing: bolted beginner walls, top-rope routes, and a scatter of boulders near the mouth of the canyon. If neither of you owns gear, Outdoors Unlimited on campus rents climbing shoes and a harness for a few dollars, and anyone can reserve online, you do not have to be a BYU student. Go in the morning before the rocks get hot, park at the Rock Canyon trailhead, and try the short beginner walls.
Neither of you has to be good at this. You spend the date taking turns spotting each other three feet off the ground, which means you are working on a team to solve the same problem instead of sitting across a table holding eye contact for an hour.
This one is for the girls you barely know, you know, the one from your ward or your class you have talked to twice, so say it is a little random, because saying so is what makes it less weird. The second you name it, she stops trying to decode what you want and just gets to answer a simple question. Keep it simple: you are going Saturday morning either way, she is welcome to come, and a no only means she is busy Saturday. You are asking her to spend a morning, not to define anything.
When you see them in person, try saying: “I know this is random, but I’m gonna do some climbing in Rock Canyon Saturday morning. Want to come try it?”
Featured Single: Get Your Own Card
We’ll feature you as a single in an upcoming issue, using your photo and a few lines about you, so other readers can reach out and ask you out, all for $5. Think a one-person profile card that goes to the whole list instead of doom scrolling on Mutual.
How it works:
(1) Venmo $5 to me, @hamiltonpr,
(2) reply to this email with a photo, your first name, age, year and major, what you are looking for, and how you want people to reach you.
To Be Interesting, Get Interested First
Curiosity · Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie’s first rule for getting people to like you, in How to Win Friends and Influence People, is not to be impressive. It is to become genuinely interested in the other person, which is easier and works better than any line you could rehearse. Get a Grip hands you the downtime to do it: every time she is resting between attempts, ask her about the thing she actually lights up about, then ask one more question than feels natural. Do not steer it back to you. The whole goal is to trust that real attention reads as more confident than a clever answer, because it does.
Become genuinely interested in the other person.
Next time a conversation stalls out on a date, skip “so what’s your major” and try this one instead. It works because it gets someone talking about something they actually have a take on, and you learn how their head works in about thirty seconds. Then stop talking and let them answer.
What is something you changed your mind about in the last year?
Roll With It
Sushi · Under $25
Grab a sushi rolling kit for about ten dollars, then pick up nori (seaweed), sushi rice, a cucumber, an avocado, and imitation crab or smoked salmon. Watch one rolling tutorial before you start so you know what tight is supposed to look like. Your first roll will be too fat and fall apart, and by the fifth one you will (hopefully!) actually have it.
A cooking project is doing you a favor here: the food gives you both something to do with your hands, so the quiet moments are just you concentrating instead of you panicking. Rolling sushi badly together is also a great equalizer, because laughing at a collapsed roll is a lot easier than laughing at nothing.
This is the one to send the friend you have been quietly wondering about, and the fear there is real, you do not want to torch a good friendship. So say the awkward part in plain words, because naming it is what stops her from stressing out: when you tell her straight that you mean it as a date, she does not have to spend a week decoding you, she just answers a clear question. Hinting is the thing that actually wrecks friendships in my opinion, since it makes her start guessing and worrying. A clean ask she can turn down is the kinder move.
Text them and say: “I got a sushi kit and I’m gonna make some sushi with it on Thursday. Come make it with me? I mean as an actual date.”
The Seven-Word Ask That Skips the Pressure
The ask · Mutual
In February 2024 the Mutual app built its whole month-long challenge on a single seven-word question: “Would you like to have dinner together?” Their point was that the word “date” adds a layer of pressure that scares people off before the invitation even happens, so they cut it. You can borrow the exact move on the closer below: instead of building it up as A Big Date, just ask if she wants to catch the train to the city Saturday. Naming a plain, specific plan lowers the stakes for both of you, and Mutual itself seems to think it works. Small ask, real plan, no theatrics.
Would you like to have dinner together?
Guest Star in our Next Edition
Send us a selfie and you could be a person in next week’s date pictures. We drop you right into the scene using AI, so you and a friend can go looking for yourselves in the photos.
Take the Train to Salt Lake
Train · ~$25 round trip for two
The FrontRunner runs from the Provo Central Station straight up to Salt Lake, about forty-five minutes each way, and a round trip runs roughly six dollars a person, or free if either of you has a school transit pass. Once you are downtown you can walk to Temple Square, wander the free and genuinely strange Gilgal Sculpture Garden, and eat somewhere you would never find in Provo. The train runs about every thirty to sixty minutes, so check the schedule before you head back.
The train itself does most of the work: forty-five minutes side by side with the valley rolling past is a low-pressure way to actually talk, and if it fizzles, you are just on the next train home. A daytime trip to the city also quietly signals you planned something real and you are not angling for anything weird, which is exactly the read you want.
For someone you do not know well, a bright public plan in the middle of the day is the least threatening way to ask, so lean on that. Call her, mention the shared thing that explains why you are calling, like your class, your shift, or the group you are both in, then say plainly who you are and what you are asking. Being that clear is a gift to her: she does not have to wonder what this is, she just decides whether a Saturday in Salt Lake sounds fun.
Call them and say: “Hey, it’s [name] from [class]. I’m taking the FrontRunner up to Salt Lake Saturday to wander around. Want to come?”
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Monday, Aug 3: Andy Grammer with Walk Off The Earth
Red Butte Garden, Salt Lake City · 7:00 pm · Check website for pricing
Call them and say: "Alabama Shakes at Red Butte tonight. It's a drive, but the grass seats at sunset are worth it. Want in?"
Wednesday, Aug 5: Outdoor Movie, Back to the Future
SCERA Shell, Orem · at dusk · ~$5.
Text them and say: “Back to the Future on the big outdoor screen Wednesday. I’ll bring the blanket, you bring the snacks?”
Saturday, Aug 8: Provo Farmers Market
Pioneer Park, Provo · 9 am to 2 pm · Free.
When you see them in person, say: “Farmers market Saturday morning, we go at 10 and you pick what we eat. Deal?”
Wednesday, Aug 12: Outdoor Movie, Wicked For Good
SCERA Shell, Orem · at dusk · ~$5.
Text them and say: “Wicked For Good outside at the Shell next Wednesday. Grab a blanket spot with me?”
Just reply to this email!
Every date this week runs on the same small idea: the plan matters less than being clear about it. A free morning on the rocks, a messy kitchen, a train ticket, none of it works if you never send the text. So pick one, name it out loud, and let her give you a real answer. The worst case is a normal Tuesday, and you already have plenty of those.
Until next time,
— Two Tacos & a Hike